I've been involved in lengthy discussions about this darn tree, and it actually hasn't been all pain and suffering. In fact, Marty threw us a curveball and was all nice and congenial when I expected her to tear me a new asshole. That sure complicated things. Marty reminds me of my parents, they know how to get what they want and benefit from either talking in person or getting the fact-to-face. That gives them the advantage and they know how to work the situation, and no matter how hard I try to keep some distance, they bring you into the fold.
I try to keep the correspondence via email, because I know if we see eachother, Marty will work me over like she always does, and before I know it, I'll be signing the deed of the house back over to her. That's just how it goes.
Talking with Scott has been much smoother, and I think we may have found some common ground. A key for me has been just talking honestly and sincerely about how we feel, and I hope he understands this. I think he does.
Anyway, at some point Marty will show up and again, I'm dreading it. Under other circumstances, I really like Marty, it's just that when we both want something and they don't necessarily mesh, things get sticky. I wonder what Lori would think of all this.
Either way, we'll see how this goes. I want to do what's best for everyone, but I still feel like we should decide. It's just gotta be that way.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Yardwork
I've been prepping the yard for Winter and getting nowhere, fast. The leaves are holding on for dear life, they won't drop on the oak trees in the back, so I know if I clear everything, in a month's time, there'll be more, but you can't plan for every contingency, you gotta do your best. So, I'll probably finish this weekend and do the garden. I put an order to John Madden for compost so I'll need to get ahold of a trailer. Enter Kurt Boland, the go to guy when you need something done. The guy's got everything.
I'm not too good with trailers, however, so this could be interesting. Maybe ugly is the operative word, here. I have this unrealistic goal of prepping the garden before we go on vacation, but that gives me only a couple of days, and I worry that when we get back the ground might be too hard, but we'll see. I'd love to just get it done. I wanted to mulch the leaves but the kids really wanted a leaf pile, so of course I complied. Now I need to run the mower over it a few times and pour it over the garden. Might have to wait on the leaves and just focus on the manure in the interest of time.
I know why hardcore Vermonters don't go anywhere, there's too much to do on the home front. Who's got time to travel?
Filled the wood box and finished painting the clapboards, for now, so at least I can get rid of the tarps and the house can look normal. Sort of.
Now we've Halloween, and then our trip. Until then, thanks for reading.
I'm not too good with trailers, however, so this could be interesting. Maybe ugly is the operative word, here. I have this unrealistic goal of prepping the garden before we go on vacation, but that gives me only a couple of days, and I worry that when we get back the ground might be too hard, but we'll see. I'd love to just get it done. I wanted to mulch the leaves but the kids really wanted a leaf pile, so of course I complied. Now I need to run the mower over it a few times and pour it over the garden. Might have to wait on the leaves and just focus on the manure in the interest of time.
I know why hardcore Vermonters don't go anywhere, there's too much to do on the home front. Who's got time to travel?
Filled the wood box and finished painting the clapboards, for now, so at least I can get rid of the tarps and the house can look normal. Sort of.
Now we've Halloween, and then our trip. Until then, thanks for reading.
The State Is Out To Get Us
Sometimes it feels like the state is out to get us, though I have to confess that the sun always ends up peaking through the clouds, sort of. We just can't seem to get it right with the state's requirements for homeschooling. It seems like whatever I do, it's not enough, and I tear my hair out trying to figure out what they want. This process has been dragging on for quite some time, and a great deal of my frustration lies in the fact that some of this stuff is just a given, and the need for documentation seems a formality. For example, it goes without saying that kids will get some physical exercise, so why do I need to document it?
This is the sort of stuff that makes New Hampshire-ites smug with satisfaction, though their time will come. We've been going back and forth over the requirements for homeschooling and I have to keep revising our portfolio. In all fairness, the state is just trying to oversee the academic process, and it does force us to put some thought into it, which is why we're doing it in the first place, but it's frustrating when I just keep getting it wrong. Furthermore, I have no template, and dealing in generalities gets a person like me nowhere.
In the end, the office had to call me and tell me what a loser I am. That said, I give them credit for actually calling me and explaining what they want. They could have just as easily let the process drag on for as long as they pleased, which would have just frustrated me even more. And in the end, there is a reason that they have their hands in the process. And it's like Ruth says, we can whine all we want, but the state has it's expectations, and if we choose to play in their arena, we have to play by their rules. Fair enough.
The take home from all this is that it wasn't so bad, we're learning a lot (a point the state acknowledged) and it's all part of the process. Besides, it's like I said, it forces you to take the time to think about your kid's education, something most parents spend little, if any time doing. I'm grateful to Karen at the office for calling me, and I think we can get this right.
One less thing to deal with, and I'm glad for that.
Onto other state matters. Our application for the septic system got held up because it was missing one item-the water test. Luckily, we have a test from when we first moved in, so we'll submit that, but all this uncertainty makes me anxious. I don't know why, and maybe that's a good thing to examine. Why so much stress over the future, it really makes life crappy.
We've had to modify our homeschool approach in lieu of our enlightenment, but that's good, because it shakes up the system and makes you think. Also, the process of building this house is a huge learning experience in terms of how to apply for all the state permits.
So there's a bright side to all of it. We're learning. Sure, it ain't easy, but the hard lessons are the one's you never forget, and the best things in life don't come easy.
The excavator got back to us amazingly quickly for the project, and our original choice of Dave hasn't even said a peep, which of course makes me lean to the newer guys, Dan and John. Plus, they know Paul. All this money, it's crazy.
Until the next time, thanks for reading.
This is the sort of stuff that makes New Hampshire-ites smug with satisfaction, though their time will come. We've been going back and forth over the requirements for homeschooling and I have to keep revising our portfolio. In all fairness, the state is just trying to oversee the academic process, and it does force us to put some thought into it, which is why we're doing it in the first place, but it's frustrating when I just keep getting it wrong. Furthermore, I have no template, and dealing in generalities gets a person like me nowhere.
In the end, the office had to call me and tell me what a loser I am. That said, I give them credit for actually calling me and explaining what they want. They could have just as easily let the process drag on for as long as they pleased, which would have just frustrated me even more. And in the end, there is a reason that they have their hands in the process. And it's like Ruth says, we can whine all we want, but the state has it's expectations, and if we choose to play in their arena, we have to play by their rules. Fair enough.
The take home from all this is that it wasn't so bad, we're learning a lot (a point the state acknowledged) and it's all part of the process. Besides, it's like I said, it forces you to take the time to think about your kid's education, something most parents spend little, if any time doing. I'm grateful to Karen at the office for calling me, and I think we can get this right.
One less thing to deal with, and I'm glad for that.
Onto other state matters. Our application for the septic system got held up because it was missing one item-the water test. Luckily, we have a test from when we first moved in, so we'll submit that, but all this uncertainty makes me anxious. I don't know why, and maybe that's a good thing to examine. Why so much stress over the future, it really makes life crappy.
We've had to modify our homeschool approach in lieu of our enlightenment, but that's good, because it shakes up the system and makes you think. Also, the process of building this house is a huge learning experience in terms of how to apply for all the state permits.
So there's a bright side to all of it. We're learning. Sure, it ain't easy, but the hard lessons are the one's you never forget, and the best things in life don't come easy.
The excavator got back to us amazingly quickly for the project, and our original choice of Dave hasn't even said a peep, which of course makes me lean to the newer guys, Dan and John. Plus, they know Paul. All this money, it's crazy.
Until the next time, thanks for reading.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Orange Is My Favorite Color
It feels like a war zone out here, I hear gunshots all the time. They sound as if they are literally in our backyard, and we've told our kids to stay the hell out of the woods. I'm not sure when hunting season ends, but I'm sure as hell going to find out. It's a little daunting to hear the shots so close.
Life in Vermont, what are you going to do. When I go to karate, all the guys talk about is hunting. I feel like the gay friend who has yet to come out of the closet and admit that I've never hunted. That would make them want to kick my ass even more. What's interesting is how integral it is in growing up out here. All the kids look forward to bagging a deer, and they start young. That's all this country needs, more guns in the hands of kids.
The elections are coming up and I have to confess that I've focused only the president, but there are significant local elections to consider. Even though I can't vote in NH, I want to see the incumbent Senator axed, but that's another story. And that's NH.
Okay, gotta run. Until the next time, thanks for reading.
Life in Vermont, what are you going to do. When I go to karate, all the guys talk about is hunting. I feel like the gay friend who has yet to come out of the closet and admit that I've never hunted. That would make them want to kick my ass even more. What's interesting is how integral it is in growing up out here. All the kids look forward to bagging a deer, and they start young. That's all this country needs, more guns in the hands of kids.
The elections are coming up and I have to confess that I've focused only the president, but there are significant local elections to consider. Even though I can't vote in NH, I want to see the incumbent Senator axed, but that's another story. And that's NH.
Okay, gotta run. Until the next time, thanks for reading.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Taking Care of Business
| Wow, got some things done in the past day. I cleared the garden and am ready to put on compost. I'm thinking I'll do it before Winter so it can percolate until Spring, but I'm pushing my luck here. I need to get a trailer. I've also stared on the clapboards on the front porch, and it discovered why the clapboards at Home Depot are so cheap. It's because they're glued together. What a piece of shit. It's not a big deal, they'll work, but it was a big letdown, to say the least. Not I know, and should have remembered that things that are too good to be true are just that. Also brought in the hoses and opened up the garden, so we are on our way. Hopefully I'll be able to rake some leaves and get that ready. Today should be a nice day so hopefully things will dry out a little. Waiting with anxiety for Marty to show up, that would really suck. Until the next time, thanks for reading. |
Being Neighborly
I have confess to having a dilemma. We need to move a tree on our property that was planted by the former owners when their daughter was born, and we thought the right thing to do was to contact them and let them play a role in deciding where to put it, but after some discussion and much thought, I realized that wasn't right. When we first moved in here we relied on Marty to help us with things around the house, and she was great, as was Scott. They are so capable and knowledgeable that they can answer anything you need to know.
But you begin to realize that at least Marty is having a hard time letting go, which is completely understandable, she built this house and raised her family here, it means so much to her. But she did push us hard to make the sale, and she did make it difficult on us, and besides all that stuff, she really needs to let go. By wanting to be so involved in every aspect of this house, she is making it more difficult on all of us. It's painful for her family, and it makes our lives hard because it's so awkward having her here, checking out the house to see what we've done. It's too much and makes us uncomfortable. We can't relax in our own home, and it clings to the idea that it still belongs to her.
In the end, we just felt that it wasn't quite right for Marty to choose where to put their tree on our property. Besides the fact that it keeps her invested in the house, it's our house! It just keeps promoting the process, and that just feels wrong. Gotta go with your gut.
So I did a bit of an about face and told them that rather than letting them decide where to put the tree, we'll put it near Alden's tree, in the wild flower patch. I was expecting to hear loud protests from Marty, but nothing came, another example of how this makes it suck having her in the loop. I don't want her to dictate the situation, something she is used to, but I don't want to be a dick about it, either. I'm not sure what to do, but feel I owe at least an explanation to Scott.
Man, what am I supposed to do? Part of me wonders whether Marty is keeping in touch because she wants to be a friend, she's a very nice person and we like her, but part of me also wonders if she just wants to keep tabs on the house and hopefully get it back. It's very awkward.
We'll just go with that. Somehow I get the feeling we're going to see Marty today, she tends to just show up. She likes the face-to-face confrontation, much like my mom and Liz. They just have the upper hand when they're in your presence, and work it.
Until the next time, thanks for reading.
But you begin to realize that at least Marty is having a hard time letting go, which is completely understandable, she built this house and raised her family here, it means so much to her. But she did push us hard to make the sale, and she did make it difficult on us, and besides all that stuff, she really needs to let go. By wanting to be so involved in every aspect of this house, she is making it more difficult on all of us. It's painful for her family, and it makes our lives hard because it's so awkward having her here, checking out the house to see what we've done. It's too much and makes us uncomfortable. We can't relax in our own home, and it clings to the idea that it still belongs to her.
In the end, we just felt that it wasn't quite right for Marty to choose where to put their tree on our property. Besides the fact that it keeps her invested in the house, it's our house! It just keeps promoting the process, and that just feels wrong. Gotta go with your gut.
So I did a bit of an about face and told them that rather than letting them decide where to put the tree, we'll put it near Alden's tree, in the wild flower patch. I was expecting to hear loud protests from Marty, but nothing came, another example of how this makes it suck having her in the loop. I don't want her to dictate the situation, something she is used to, but I don't want to be a dick about it, either. I'm not sure what to do, but feel I owe at least an explanation to Scott.
Man, what am I supposed to do? Part of me wonders whether Marty is keeping in touch because she wants to be a friend, she's a very nice person and we like her, but part of me also wonders if she just wants to keep tabs on the house and hopefully get it back. It's very awkward.
We'll just go with that. Somehow I get the feeling we're going to see Marty today, she tends to just show up. She likes the face-to-face confrontation, much like my mom and Liz. They just have the upper hand when they're in your presence, and work it.
Until the next time, thanks for reading.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Adventures w/Marty
What do you do when you buy a house from someone who is not only suffering interminably from a massive case of buyer's regret, but is from a family well established in the area? We suffer from this, and I'm not sure what to make of it. We like Marty, she's an admirable woman who is going through a lot, but she really needs to move on with her life.
Whenever we see her, two things strike me. One, she can't let go of this house, and two, she is completely self-absorbed. It's almost as if your time is hers, and everything is about her. Now, this is a complicated situation, because she's not necessarily a selfish person, but she is self-absorbed. Talking to her is just an exercise in listening to her, and when you finally do get to speak, it's so obvious that she's just biding her time until you shut up.
That's all fine and well, but she can't let go of this house. I know she's got her sights set on getting it back one day, but when you really get down to it, she played hard ball during the sale. She went out of her way to make our job difficult, we did everything her way, she never bent an inch for us, and she screwed us on the tractor, without even blinking an eye.
So in lieu of all this, I have to say that I don't find this to be a very comfortable situation, and don't really want her to come around here with a watchful eye. It's too uncomfortable, and it's too painful for her. She needs to deal with this.
Either way, this is stemming from the fact that she might come by this Sunday, which is a pain in the ass because she tends to talk our ears off. She has no concept of other people's time, and I don't want to be a dick to her, but suffice it to say, when she comes over, we get nothing done. And even if we don't have plans, we'd like to hang out and relax and not have to worry about things, which we do when she's here.
Until the next time, thanks for reading.
Whenever we see her, two things strike me. One, she can't let go of this house, and two, she is completely self-absorbed. It's almost as if your time is hers, and everything is about her. Now, this is a complicated situation, because she's not necessarily a selfish person, but she is self-absorbed. Talking to her is just an exercise in listening to her, and when you finally do get to speak, it's so obvious that she's just biding her time until you shut up.
That's all fine and well, but she can't let go of this house. I know she's got her sights set on getting it back one day, but when you really get down to it, she played hard ball during the sale. She went out of her way to make our job difficult, we did everything her way, she never bent an inch for us, and she screwed us on the tractor, without even blinking an eye.
So in lieu of all this, I have to say that I don't find this to be a very comfortable situation, and don't really want her to come around here with a watchful eye. It's too uncomfortable, and it's too painful for her. She needs to deal with this.
Either way, this is stemming from the fact that she might come by this Sunday, which is a pain in the ass because she tends to talk our ears off. She has no concept of other people's time, and I don't want to be a dick to her, but suffice it to say, when she comes over, we get nothing done. And even if we don't have plans, we'd like to hang out and relax and not have to worry about things, which we do when she's here.
Until the next time, thanks for reading.
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