Here Comes Sunshine

Ah, the rain has finally ended. I was surprised how much rain came down, all night, no less. I had to scramble to protect our house from the splashes, which of course opens up a whole new avenue of home improvement needs. I'm ready.

Being the fickle SOB that I am, I have warmed up to LaValley's and cooled off a bit to Britton's, for a few reasons. I still think that they aren't that friendly at Lavalley's, they just seem cold and distant, but again, that's true of about almost every hardware/lumber store I've been to. They're just used to dealing with people who know what they're doing, which therefore excludes me. Even still, it's hard for a Flatlander to enjoy himself when he feels like such a loser.

What I learned is that LaValley's has everything I need and so much more, and they are actually cheaper than the other guys. I got a bundle of cedar clapboards for less, and they have a greater variety of sizes, and they seem to be in better condition. Sure, they people were not friendly, but after much effort (it helped having my partner, Nicholas, who is as cute as a button, with me) managed to squeak out a smile from the girl behind the register. And best of all, they had what I needed, something my two standby's could not claim. So I'll probably be going there more.

I couldn't find the wood preservative for the life of me. Fogg's was sold out, and Britton's doesn't carry it, ever. He said if I knew what I needed he could order a million gallons of it for me, but I probably only needed a quart, if that. Enter LaValley's. Not only did they have it, but it wasn't that expensive, though like Balloon Gary says, you have to get over frugality and spend some money on your house to get quality. I love that guy.

How did Britton's let me down? I bought a piece of plywood and it was massive, they only sell big pieces and I couldn't buy a half piece. Naturally it wouldn't fit in my car so I asked them to cut it down and then I'd get it the next day, but they flaked on me and I had to buy the big piece-Paul brought it over. Thanks, Paul.

Maybe it's a good thing because I had to deal with something that I wanted to avoid-ripping the wood myself. I have anxiety about using my rotary saw because I can't seem to always cut straight, and this is for the house and I can't mess around. Anway, I did it, and it worked out fine, and I feel like a man. So maybe I should thank Britton's. Thanks.

There's so much good cheer now that I can't believe it. Will work on that this morning, no rain and breezy, perfect for drying toxic chemicals.

Also need to get toner for our printer, and mow the lawn to make our yard look beautiful. Yesterday I drove by a pile of hardwood that had been blocked up and I assumed it was the state's, but found out it belonged to some guy named Jim Punger. I left a message if he wanted to get rid of it, or even sell it, and if he agrees, I might get a couple of cords out of it. We'll see, though it amounts to more work.

Finally I need to move one of my wood piles for the in-laws. Bob likes to stack wood, so I'll break up one of my cords for him to re-stack. It's a long story, but well worth the effort.

Until the next time, thanks for reading.

The Value of the Mentor

I can't express adequately how lucky I feel to have a friend like GL, and wonder what I did to be worthy of his friendship. Even in lieu of my current failures to assist him with flying balloons, he's still always ready to come to our assistance. He really is like a true father figure, and he says he loves to be a problem solver. His confidence is incredibly comforting, especially for a loser like myself. I'm still in awe of how he takes over a situation. Wow.

Anyway, the clapboard drama continues, and it's the limbo effect that gets to me the most. The repair just sits there until I can get the stuff I need, which I partially accomplished. PD recommended using something called Cuprinol on the frame, then using Fire and Ice on the plywood that covers it, not that I have any clue what they are. All I know is they are to protect from water. I found the F&I at Foggs, where I got to see my buddy Rhett and we talked about our blackberry harvest. I love that guy. They were sold out of the Cup, however, so I only accomplished half my goal and can't finish the boards. Plus, it's supposed to rain today, total bummer, so I'm hoping to at least get the stuff at Britton's, where hopefully I'll see my other patriarch, Harry (Rhett's the other) and get some advice. I love this home improvement stuff, if only it didn't take so much time.

I was disappointed in the guy at the Britton's, however. He blew me off and didn't cut my wood like he said he would, so PD ended up bringing me a whole 4X8 slap of plywood. How the hell am I supposed to rip this? I know, everyone thinks it's no big deal, but he said he'd do it and probably was just giving me lip service. Such is the life of a Flatlander living in paradise.

For today, I'd like to keep it simple but I always get bogged down with too many things to do. I'd like to mow the lawn, as well. The kids have indicated that it is now allowable to mow the backyard, so I'm going to begin the process of manicuring the grounds to make them presentable. I yanked out a bunch of goldenrod the other day and it's just sitting there rotting on the grass.

Then I'd like to tackle the clapboards. I'm embarrassed by this, but I didn't know I could do bevel cuts on my miter saw. That thing kicks butt, I'm so impressed with it. PD asked me what kind I got, and when I told him a Craftsman, his scorn was palpable, but of course he was nice about it. Either way, I'm sure true contractors would not touch a Craftsman, but I love that saw. It does everything I need, and more. Either way, I needed bevel cuts for the corner boards, and wasn't sure how to pull it off. I tried doing bevel cuts on the picnic table using a rotary saw and it was a complete disaster. If only I'd known, or better yet, at least tried. Stupid me.

It's raining right now, bummer, but again, I can't let it stop me. I'll need to go to the dump, as well. We've got tons of recycling, and then I have to get my damn Cuprinol. I'm thinking I can apply it if it's only drizzling, then by tomorrow morning I'll begin replacing the clapboards. Did I mention the cedar claps cost an arm and a leg? MG said they used cedar, but she's full of shit, they are spruce, much cheaper. I bought cedar and will stick with it. I'm thinking they'll be more durable on the lower levels, exposed to all that water, but the cost is painful, and to make it worse, I can't apply them evenly for aesthetic reasons. A complete pain in the arse. So I have to cut and stagger them for appearances. Wow, being a homeowner ain't easy.

The bookshelf is still languishing on the floor. Staining and finishing is in its future.

Until then, thanks for reading.

Consequences of Cluelessness

As much as I love Britton's, it's not always the best store when you're clueless, like myself. I just realized that when I bought cedar clapboards the other day, they weren't cedar, and I paid top dollar for something that wasn't. They were spruce. Luckily, I only got about twenty feet, but it's still a lot. In all fairness, they would probably give me my money back, they are very cool in that way, but you pay the price if you are clueless. It's because they send you out to the shed and expect you to get it right, i.e., they don't hold your hand. My mistake, and now I know.

What I also know is that cedar clapboards are expensive. I bought a bundle and when she rang up $100, I was floored. Little did I know that it's a very good price. Paul told me that he pays $3/foot, where I'm getting about $1.80/foot, so I shouldn't complain. Even still, I hate when I'm stupid, and I'm always stupid.

My friend Gary (the other Gary) was commenting on how I'm being thrown to the lions in terms of home improvement, and in a way, it's true. I'm dealing with way more than I bargained for, but it's good. The best lessons are the one's you learn the hard way. Thankfully we live in Vermont, surrounded by do-it-yourself real men who are not only good at what they do, but are always willing to lend a big helping hand. It's the New England way, fiercely independent, but always neighborly and helpful. I love that.

Now that I'm a clapboard expert, I decided to pull off a few more and make sure the plywood was not thrashed. One thing I've learned is that it's difficult, if not impossible for me, to salvage clapboards that I've removed. They just seem to get really thrashed, and as I remove them in increasing numbers all can think of are the dollars going up in smoke, at $1.82/foot. Ouch. Mind you, I'm trying my best to be gentle, hoping, perhaps naively so, that by using finesse and touch, I can reuse these things, but no such luck. I've been successful a few times, but for the most part, it's goodbye clapboards. Once I'd given up hope, however, it was much easier to remove them, and in certain instances I simply ripped the damn things off. I'm beginning the process of staining the new ones, they smell great, BTW, and it's a long road ahead. I may still use the spruce ones, maybe in low impact areas, but like Balloon Gary (my mentor) says, it's your house, you're planning on living there for awhile, don't skimp and get the good stuff. Now if only I can convince Ruth of this.

It rained last night, pretty hard, actually, and I can't really complain because we've had such nice, dry weather, simply beautiful. The rain didn't help my pursuit of the perfect clapboard, however, and I had to scramble to just protect the dry siding from the rain. One thing that I've noticed and will ultimately guide me in our next home improvement endeavor is that the problem we are facing is a universal one-water coming down the slanted roof and splashing back on the house. The solution? Gravel. I spoke with Homesteader Gary and he said he has the same problem, as I'm sure all of Vermont and New Hampshire have, and he advised me on where to go. Yet another adventure for Fred.

The reason that I loathe water splashing on the house is twofold. One, you get rot. And two, when the wood is wet and rotted, you get carpenter ants. And carpenter ants we have. Two thing I've learned about them is that not to many people know very much about them, and the know even less about how to deal with them. Even the two Gary's were at a loss for an explanation, other than the fact that you don't want them and had sure as hell better deal with them. For now, on the advice of Balloon Gary, I will leave the clapboards off, let the wood dry, and spray for the little buggers. Total bummer, I just want to finish it and be done with it, but such is life.

Speaking of clapboards, I'm doing things to the house that I've never done, and it scares me. I'm actually cutting out sections of the plywood facing, whatever it's called, and it's not for the faint of heart. Balloon Gary was there to hold my hand, I couldn't have done without him, but it still makes me uneasy. The thing that's a pain is that I've got to repair the damn thing, now. Does it never end?

There are some silver linings, however. I was sealing our deck yesterday and managed to get the second coat on just in time to let it dry before the deluge, and you know what? It beaded water like a dream, I was impressed. Also, our picnic table is weathering the storm nicely, though it's only been a few months, but I can celebrate the small victories. Sometimes that's all you got.

Will mow out all the grass, we've decided the time has come to shave it all off, in preparation for Ruth's parents visit. Many things to do, not to mention being a parent.

Just a quick anecdote, when I went to Home Depot to find out about carpenter ants, the guy told me that I'll need carpenter and poison. Brilliant, but very appropriate for Home Depot. In all fairness, the guys at Britton's were not any more insightful. Carpenter ants, the big mystery.

Until the next time, thanks for reading.

Home Improvement-A New Twist

Yesterday, in what was supposed to be a fairly straightforward exercise in home improvement turned out to be a complete rigmarole, not to mention a true test of my home improvement moxie. I was trying to replace clapboards on the front of the house and several things happened. Just like PD told me, I ended up cracking and breaking more clapboards that I had intended to, and in the process of cracking those, I cracked some more. I am, however, getting the hang of removing clapboards. It's all about finesse and feel, though the nails can be a bitch to remove.

The boards near the bottom were severely rotted and fell apart, and once removed, I discovered ants. Not a lot of them, but enough to cause concern. AND, the wood was wet and rotted, another concern. They had to be replaced, and suddenly a simple clapboard replacement scheme was evolving into a serious home improvement endeavor. So naturally I turned to one of my mentors for advice.

Now I seriously considered calling KB or PD on their cell, but they are working and busy, so I instead called my life-sensei, GL, just to ask some simple questions. GL has alluded to feeling neglected in the home improvement field, and he's incredibly knowledgeable and helpful, not to mention supremely confident and capable. He said water and ants were both a concern, and that he'd be right over to take a look. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I wasn't going to have face this alone.

GL showed up and the clouds parted in the sky. He's such the man, I feel no fear when he's around. He looked at the house and declared that we were going to have to cut out the wood, and I immediately shit in my pants. He was so nonchalant about it, that's what I love about the guy. He did say that it could wait another year and I could simply re-cover the face with new clapboards, but feeling empowered and like a man, I said screw it, let's do it, here and now.

So I got my rotary saw and proceeded to cut out a 1X4 section of the plywood face beneath the clapboard, I couldn't believe it. Sure enough, it revealed that the wood was rotting and there was some ant infestation, but not a lot. I probably saw at most twenty ants. But that is enough.

The interesting thing about living in New England is that they don't have termites, but they do have carpenter ants, which seem to me to be the same damn thing. They have to be dealt with or your house will crumble. We went inside and GL saw no water damage on the inside, the foundation seemed sound, and he felt it was not an urgent, dire situation. Of course, I was in a panicked state, but he was calm and cool, as always.

The conclusion was that I would need to remove most of the front clapboards and search for water damage and ants. I would need to address the ant issue, and make sure no more rot was occurring, and this alone was going to be a monumental task. Removing clapboards ain't easy. The corner boards (I just learned what these are called) were rotting, as well, and I needed to replace sections of them. At first I figured that I'd just cut a small section off and replace it whenever it needed it, figuring that this will be a regular thing, but instead I think I'll head off to Brittons and get the entire piece ripped for me. Eight feet, I hope it fits in my car. That's why I love Britton's, they always help out and don't make you feel like an asshole when they do, even if they think it. That means a lot to me.

So it's off to Britton's for plywood, ant killer, corner boards, clapboards, and some friendly advice. What more do I need? If and when I get this finished, it'll be a small miracle. I wanted to finish sealing the deck but had no time, so hopefully I'll get to it today. Also, I forgot to ask GL why our grass is dying, and what kind of paint to use on the corner boards, or rather if the paint in the basement was usable. So many questions, so little time.

And to top it all off, I still have to cook, clean, and home school the kids. Maybe it's a good thing I'm staying at home, today. My wife's parents have indicated a visit, so I'm thinking I may have to mow the backyard lawn, which GL was more than happy to share his thoughts on. We looked at the chimney and said it was very clean, though some buildup is occurring an I think I would still have it cleaned, and we cleaned the stove pipe. Getting ready for cold weather. GL did compliment me on my caulking job, not to mention my technique with the rotary saw. This means the world to me.

Today should be an interesting day, to say the least. With me luck, more later. Until then, thanks for reading.

First Day Back

Even though I have plenty of wood this Winter, I'm still stressing out over how the heck I'm going to get wood for next year. This situation is getting ridiculous, I've talked to people I know who have paid top dollar for cord wood, and it worries me. They are even pre-buying for next year. I should relax and have faith in Mike, he's a good man, and in the end, if things change for the worse, there's always a way. Have to adopt a more Vermont attitude and get over my city-neurosis, there's always a way and whatever the world throws at you, you've got no choice other than to just deal with it. And whatever you do, don't whine.

Things are moving along with the barn. Todd Hill, a true Vermonter, was here a few weeks ago and we dug test pits and measured the land for the septic plan. I helped him out and I think I was reasonably competent, for a Flatlander, that is. Todd's a great guy and I really like helping him because he's always willing to give me advice outside of his job, and he's a very knowledgeable, down to earth guy. I need all the help I can get.

With Fall on the horizon, I decided that there were things I needed to take care of, and it was time to be a real man and do real man things. The deck, oh that deck. Our poor cedar wood deck, though I'm taking it on faith that it's real cedar wood, at least that's what Marty said (she's the previous owner of this house and woman extraordinaire) and I believe her for two reason-first, she's an honest and honorable woman, whom BTW I respect immensely, and secondly, she didn't mess around with this house and did things the right way, so I know she used quality ingredients. That I firmly believe, but I could be deluding myself.

The deck is thrashed, little did I know that wood should be protected to some degree because even cedar will give way to the elements. Todd Hill actually said that white cedar is much more affordable to replace, but affordable is relative. I built shelves out of native pine, the cheapest wood you can get, and Ruth still tore me a new asshole over the cost, so if I went with buying good hardwood, she would surely have me killed. So I'm contemplating what to do, and am considering using a lesser wood, maybe spruce, and then staining and finishing/sealing it, but we'll see.

In the meantime, it needs help. The wood is falling apart, so I finished it with a penetrating sealer. I'm using (Kurt and Paul, please don't laugh) an all natural, soy-based sealer that I got on the Cape. It's non-toxic, if you can believe that. Not sure I do, but I'm going with the Ecoprocote Acri-soy sealer, anyway. I've been using their stuff and I like the non-toxic thing for stuff the kids will be around. I also need to work on the front porch steps, they are constantly doused with rain and are in need of repair.

I also am preparing for the big home improvement step-replacing clapboards. I primed the boards yesterday and will start the process of pulling the old one's off. We are supposed to get rain on Thursday so I need to start today. Could be interesing, always fun. A fun thing for the kids to watch their dad do.

Did loads of yardwork, in the prime of heat. It actually was a nice day because there was a steady wind and I wasn't too miserable. The lawn was a disaster, way to overgrown, and our poor Toro was working it's tail off, not to mention me. I managed to make it look somewhat reasonable, and have vowed to be more diligent about it.

I tried manicuring the blackberry bushes a bit, just so we can access them and walk around them, and today I will mow some more, trim some more bushes, and then set about removing as much goldenrod as I can. It prevents the other wild flowers from growing since it seems to take over.

Otherwise, life is good. Until the next time, thanks for reading.

Berries and Assorted Yard Work

We have had a kick-butt season for berries, and we did absolutely nothing to promote it. Then again, that's not true. I did some serious battle with the Japanese Beatles, the little bastards. They were tenacious and unwavering in their virtual destruction of roses and berry leaves, but in the end, there are so many berry bushes that their impact is muted, thankfully. They are rather pesky pests, though, and I have to give them credit, they are survivors. They are smart like cockroaches, they sense when there is danger and bail out. You've got to appreciate that.

Either way, there are berries galore, and they keep coming. I've been told you can promote their production by doing a few things, but I've got to do more research. Then again, there are more than enough resources in our friends, who seem to know a lot about everything.

I did my first real bout of yard work last week before we took off. It's a funny thing about yards, the require maintenance. Nobody told me that. I just figured things took care of themselves, but the bushes and shrubs seem to be getting a bit out of hand, and left to their own devices, the berry bushes would take over the world. Though I like the raspberries, they have a certain invasive quality about them. They pretty much take over.

And don't even get me started on mowing the lawn. It's been such a rainy summer that I haven't had as much of a chance to mow the lawn, and it's grown a bit out of control. But maybe this week I have no excuse and need to get on it. Part of our lawn is actually dying a slow death, taken over by what I believe are wild strawberries.

Gotta run and prep for the deck cleaning. Until the next time, thanks for reading.

Fall Plans

Wow, is it already September? I can't believe it, though I think we're in for a stretch of dry weather, so it's time to take care of house stuff. Yikes! When you're dealing with things as big as your house, the stakes are so much bigger, but you do what you gotta do.

I'm thankful that I've got my wood for the season, though I'm still a little stressed about next year. I know how stupid this sounds, but the wood situation is getting rough, and I know a few people who had a hard time finding it and had to pay to dollar. I'm set for this Winter, but what about next? The plan is to always have two seasons on hand, but it ain't easy, and would require having upwards of ten cords on hand. Not sure if that is doable, and I still want to find a self-made source, i.e., cutting it myself at bargain basement prices. I need a truck, and big one, or maybe even a small one would do.

Which brings me to my chainsaw. I still haven't gotten one, they still scare me, but it can't be avoided. I need to get one, and all roads seem to point to Husqavarna, if I spelled that right. My first thought was go cheap and small, but if I intend to cut any amount of wood in the future, I think I need to get the real deal. Besides, in terms of safety, I'm better off getting a good saw, not to mention all the safety equipment. I realize I may look stupid doing it, but you can't let ego get in the way of saving your body parts. This process will be an odyssey in itself, so stay tuned for more.

I did speak with Chip, my sensei, and he's interested in getting into the wood business, so he may be someone I'll turn to in the future, but first we've got to find some wood. I haven't written off the idea of getting log lengths and cutting it, but first I've got to get my chainsaw.

On other fronts, we've got a great forecast for the next week, and I've got no excuse but to get on house repair. The first thing will be to clean the deck. People always talk of getting a pressure nozzle but I'll do it the poor man's way, with a hose and a broom. If I can clean it in the morning and then let it dry all day, I can probably start sealing in the afternoon if it's dry and clear. The hard part will be to keep the kids off of it for a few days. Not an easy thing. I should work on the bulkhead door, as well, but one thing at a time, here, and I'll probably end up replacing the whole thing, anyway.

I also really need to get on those clapboards. My guess is that the first thing I should do is pre-stain the clapboard in the barn, then cut to size. The interesting part will be to get those clapboards off. Should I remove them first? Seems like it will leave it exposed, so I'll probably measure it out, cut and stain... no, I'll stain large pieces first, then cut and stain the edge. That will minimize the time of vulnerability. Can't forget to calk.

And let us not forget the corner panels. One of the biggest problems I face is knowing the nomenclature. Everything's got a name, and I know none of them. This makes it challenging when you go to the lumber yard of hardware store and makes it all the more critical to have the Harrys or the Rhetts there to hold my hand. Will work on that, as well, though I need to know if I have exterior latex white. Listen to me.

I did do a pretty good job on the picnic table, if I may say so myself, and I feel empowered. Lots of yard work, as well, in preparation for Fall. Can it be here, already? Hard to believe.

Until the next time, thanks for reading.