A Brutal Day, Being a Man, and Then a Ray of Light

Yesterday was one of those brutal days that force me to step back and take a good look at myself. A little introspection goes a long way, especially when you're trying to figure things out.

It started out rough from the beginning. The previous night I had tried to move the car so that Kurt could plow the driveway and proceeded to get stuck. Not only that, but our darn windshield wipers broke, so now were facing this dilemma of driving a car without wipers, a dangerous proposition. Electrical problems on cars are always hard to find and fix, so I was bummed. On top of that, the snow kept falling, making driving very difficult, and for whatever reason our drive went the entire day without a plow.

I hate to admit it, but by the end of the previous day, I was weary of the snow. Fortunately, come Monday morning, the snow had stopped and it was a beautiful day, but there was so much snow to attend to. Now normally this wouldn't bother me. Given the day, I don't mind going out and shoveling snow, especially when it's a beautiful day and Audrey and Nicholas are having fun, but there was something weighing on my mind, and I couldn't ignore it.

There was about three feet of snow on the shed dormer on the back roof. The snow usually rolls off at an extreme angle like the front, but on the dormer it's much more level and the snow just sits. The biggest problem was that rain is forecast for Wednesday, and all the snow is like a sponge weighing down on the roof. The thought of it makes me cringe. I was hoping that I could simply ignore it and eventually, come Spring, it would melt and we'd all be fine, but the little voice in my head kept saying, "There's no avoiding this, Fred. Deal with it."

Even dealing with it wouldn't be so bad, except that it would require getting on the roof, which is one of my biggest anxieties. Kurt offered to help, and part of me thought I could just pay him to do it, which would benefit both of us. But as we've all learned the hard way, relying on other people to deal with your stuff never turns out optimallly. So I resolved to break out our 28 foot ladder and rake the snow.

It didn't start out well. As I may or may not have mentioned, I broke my glasses last week, and luckily found an old pair that still work, though the lenses are terribly scratched. When I got my ladder out and leaned it against the house, a whole blob of snow nailed me right in the face. Wanting to clean my glasses, I wiped them off and proceeded to snap the frames in two. What a drag.

Fortunately I have contacts, but I couldn't believe I broke two pairs of glasses in less than a week. Not a good start. As it turns out, however, I didn't actually need to get on the roof. Our rake is long enough so that I could simply stand on the top of the ladder and rake the snow off. Bear in mind, it's not that stable, and it was freezing cold up there. The wind was whipping snow all over me, and gloves and pants got soaked. To make matters worse, it was so slow, because I had no leverage standing on that ladder and couldn't yank on that rake. It was literally like chipping away at the stone, the sort of situation where you can't think too much about the big picture and have to be in the moment.

It took me about six hours to do it, and I'm about 95% done. I'll have to go up again today, but if it came down to it, could leave it at that. The snow was pretty incredible, though, so much of it. There was probably 3 feet up there, and though it was a drag, I'm glad I did it for a number of reasons, the main one being that a hazard to our roof has been lessened, but also because I dealt with something that made me afraid, and just did it.

I was cold, my gloves were wet and frozen, and the sun was starting to set. I still had to fill the wood box, and since I'd spent all day on that ladder, I didn't shovel the path to the wood, so I had that to do. I was tired and irritable, and this is where a moment of introspection is due. I quickly cleared the path, filled the wheelbarrow and as I was carting it to the house, hit a bump and spilled all the wood.

I was infuriated and started throwing wood at the ground and swearing. Fortunately Audrey and Nicholas were safely inside playing so they didn't witness my tirade, of which I'm ashamed of. It made me really stop and take a good look at myself, because in the face of hardships, the last thing you need is a bad attitude. It's a good thing to think about.

When all the wood was in the box and I was finished, I wasn't ready to cook dinner, so we went to Ramunto's at the Jiffy Mart and picked up a pizza, though the truck got a little squirrely on some of the uphills. We got home and were pleasantly surprised to Ruth was there, she'd come home early, and she had good news to report-the wipers started working.

We had dinner and hung out, I bailed on Karate but have no regrets. We all needed a break. Of course, today I still have a lot of work to do, but most of the hard stuff is out of the way.

My name is Fred Lee, and until the next time, thanks for reading.